plotting a return
I realize it’s been a while. Partially this has been by design. Partially this has been out of laziness. I have my iPhone app back to functional again, so I can write remotely. Will try to do that more this week.
I’ll pose one thought that has been plaguing me lately:
It’s unfortunate that the times in life when we’re loving life the most seem to be the times that go by the fastest.
new year
I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions. Not because I think I’m not in need of modification or improvement, but mostly because I always thought that if I felt compelled enough to change something, I shouldn’t need to peg the change to an arbitrary date like 1/1.
That said, the pace at which the last 4 months have gone by has caused me to think maybe this is a good time to take a quick inventory of the things I’d like to do, accomplish or experience in the coming year.
MORE:
writing, photography, attention to learning, attention to friends, travel, exercise, cooking, openness to nonproductivity for the sake of resting, focus on the present
LESS:
nail biting, stressing, junk food, calendar management, focus on what’s next
Thanks for reading this past year.
Wishing you a spectacular 2009…
the importance of boredom
I came home for Christmas this year (as I do every year). I was unusually bored. It could be that I was procrastinating working on the job search. It could also be that many of the friends I had here are either not here any more, married, or both. More likely is the fact that I went from life at 150MPH to life in a slower lane when the semester ended.
At first this was frustrating.
Thinking about it now, though, I’m realizing that in two weeks, as I’m just finishing my first day of classes of the 2nd term, I’m probably going to wish I had boredom on the calendar. Wish I was back here right now. Funny to imagine.
I think it’s important to be bored every once and a while. It clears the mind. Forces you to decompress and relax. Boredom also causes you to appreciate the busy time, the time when you have tons to do, and helps you realize what parts of the busy time are most meaningful.
it’s the people, stupid
I was watching one of my favorite movies, “Stand By Me” while working on cover letters and resumes tonight. The movie ends with this quote:
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anybody?
I used to think that was a pretty interesting quote. I partially agreed with it. I suppose it captures something about the truth in friendship that occurs at such an age. Thinking about it tonight, though, I realized I had an answer to the question asked. Yes, yes, I do.
I can go on about this more later, and I will, but I really do feel very fortunate to have come to school this year and to be in the section I’m in. I’ve made incredible friends in a short amount of time, and there are friendships that I’ve no doubt will last a lifetime. I’m not sure if it’s the connection around the shared experience, the genuine commonality around intellect and drive, or just luck – but there is a bond among people here that is truly great.
I gave a toast at a dinner party the a couple Saturdays ago. I had always said I perceived half the value in the mba program to be in the education and half the value to be in the people you meet (the network). I said at dinner that I’m starting to believe it may be weighted more heavily in favor of the people, after all.
This should surprise anyone who perceives HBS as having a stigma of arrogance or obnoxiousness. It did me. That stigma simply hasn’t presented itself (at least not in the level I thought it would – because surely you can’t rid the world of jerks entirely). But it has confounded me how genuinely good the majority of people are at school.
Anyway – long way of saying that I do feel like I’ve had friends as good since I was 12. I have them right now.
snapshots in time
It is funny to think about life in increments. For instance, what was I doing last year at this time? I was stressed out about completing b-school essays, most of which I was still unhappy with, and most of which were due the first week of January. I was also stressing about producing a major component of the back to back republican and democratic presidential candidates debates, which also happened to be airing… yes, the first week of January.
Flash forward to this year and I’ve been through an entire semester already. And towards the end of that semester, prospective students with interviews started showing up in class. The cycle moves quickly and soon there will be another set of admits. Weird.
Currently, I’m staring down the barrel of the resume drop deadline for formal recruiting: which is the first week of January. Stressful, ya. But I signed up for this and I’m not really sure that I can complain. It’s a great position to be in.
Whenever I find myself in these types of spots – uncertainty on the horizon – I always find it helpful to look backward before looking forward. Think about where I was 5 years ago today. I had just started my first job. I was thrilled about being at a television network. I couldn’t have imagined ever leaving. And yet here I am, in an entirely differrnt place, completly enthralled by what I’m doing. That gives me great hope. Despite whatever worries me about what’s next, 5 years from now I will hopefully look back at today and think, why was I ever worried?
rested and reflecting
Have been home with the family this weekend. Finally feeling caught up on sleep for the first time since August. Feels good. Strange. But good.
Has also been good to catch up with high school friends here. Was thinking a lot about what life was like in high school and what, at that time, I pictured my life being like in the future. Certainly I don’t think I imagined myself in the spot I am today. But, more than that, I was thinking about the people – my friends – that made high school so great. Similarly, later, I could peg the experience of college to the people. I could peg my work experience to the people. Every time I’ve enjoyed something, it’s usually been because of the people.
Then I got to thinking – how life really is like a series of flash mobs. In the same way that people organize randomly for stunts, gathering instantaneously, performing some gag, and then dispersing. Life is filled with convergences of people. That convergence creates a context or an environment. It is in that environment that experience happens. And then people scatter. And the environment becomes a memory.
All this, I suppose, is a way of reconciling the fact that you can’t really go back to what was. Coming home is great, I love reconnecting with people, I love being at home. But there’s just something different. Age, people, circumstance. Different. Not bad, just different.
